According to the inanity dutifully recited by the talking heads of the corporate media, the Middle East is teeming with hordes of “Islamofascist” human incendiary devices lining up to detonate themselves into martyr’s paradise. Fortunately for us highly civilized Westerners, those of us sporting the Y chromosome can channel Nirvana with a mere click of our second most treasured tool, the television remote. Thanks to the benevolence of the NFL and its generous corporate partners, we can experience all manner of machismo delights without departing the physical plane.

Fierce armor-clad gladiators satiate our lust for brutality and violence with displays of unbelievably wicked hits and bone-jarring collisions enacted with extraordinarily well-choreographed athleticism.
Provocatively undressed human anomalies, the likes of whom rarely occur naturally, “cheer on the home team” as they manifest our air-brushed, surgically enhanced male vision of feminine perfection. Lite Beer, Bud Light, and Coors Light flood us with ice cold rivers of their delectable libations that free us of the arduous burden of our inhibitions.

And where would we be without “Man Law” to shield us from our long repressed anima that persistently assails our grossly exaggerated masculinity?

For about six precious months of the year, the pushers of the National Football League deliver heavy doses of testosterone, blood, adrenaline, sweat, and alcohol. Man fuel for its addicted minions. Through the grace of our corporate gods in the United States, a host of media innovations (including a network devoted to the NFL and painstakingly detailed year-round analyses) have significantly diminished the agony of off-season withdrawal.

Not far beneath the artifice of this ostensibly harmless venue of entertainment (which has become indelibly etched into our collective psyche) lie a number of baleful elements that warrant further examination. 

In a 1992 speaking engagement concerning his book, Manufacturing Consent, Noam Chomsky observed:

It is worth noting that in a few weeks, about 125 million US Americans will settle in for a day of hedonistic pleasure. Hallmark Cards calculated that the Super Bowl surpasses New Year’s Eve as the biggest party day of the year. US Americans consume more food on “Super Sunday” than any day except Thanksgiving. Super Bowl celebrants will engorge themselves with about 15,000 tons of chips and 4,000 tons of popcorn (1). Meanwhile, 35,000 human beings will die of starvation (2).

No wonder we find the NFL so intoxicating and alluring. “Mainlining” hours of visual and adrenal stimulation enables us to exercise our “God-given” rights of gluttonous indulgence, couch potatodom, and avoidance of issues that might stimulate our perpetually numbed consciences. Yet exercising these “rights” is an expensive proposition. Consider the monetary and social costs of feeding our addiction. The pushers of the NFL demand, and receive, a hefty premium for their product.

tax laws enable NFL owners to depreciate their employees, thus classifying football players as business capital rather than human beings.

When one of pro football’s elite sells their team, their profits are taxed as capital gains. Hence these bloated plutocrats are actually subject to a lower tax rate than us “mere mortals” in the working class.

And remember those exorbitant skybox seats that average Joe’s can only afford in their dreams? Since 50% of the money businesses spend on NFL outings is tax deductible, corporate elites luxuriate from “on high” for half price (3).

What Happened to Welfare Reform?

In the late 20th Century, the public spent $20 billion to subsidize the construction of new sports stadiums. [Who knows how much higher that figure would be were we to include the many interest free loans and tax free bonds lavished upon professional sports team owners] (4)?

Naturally, one wonders what the working people got in return for their “investment”.

Here is what the Cato Institute concluded:

How sadly ironic is it that in a nation obsessed with cutting “entitlement programs” we offer multi-million dollar hand-outs to individuals already wallowing in excess wealth?

Paul Allen is a case in point. As owner of the Seattle Seahawks, he is on the public dole with the rest of the NFL “billionaires’ club”. In the year 2000, Allen insisted that the state of Washington pony up 75% of the $425 million “necessary” to build a new stadium for his team. His net worth at that time? $40 billion. Despite his nearly unlimited financial means, the state caved to Allen’s demands for fear that he would make good on his threats to move the Seahawks (5).

Who Has Boardwalk and Park Place?

Operating as a “legal” monopoly enables NFL owners to maintain tight control of their market and manipulate supply and demand for their product.

Refusing to expand to cities capable of sustaining an NFL team allows the monopolists to artificially inflate the values of their teams. For example, from 1997 to 1998 the average value of a professional sports team rose from $146 million to $196 million. (6)

Being members of a cartel affords Art Modell and his ilk another avenue by which to fatten their bottom lines. Unfettered by the “nuisance” of competition, they insist upon, and receive, insane television revenues.

Ill-gotten gains are one thing, but who picks up the tab? Ultimately, the fans find their wallets under siege:

According to economist and author Andrew Zimbalist, the Justice Department could take action against the NFL, but it is "susceptible to political pressure not to upset sports." (7)

Pushing pigskin certainly has its privileges.

Hey, Coaches, Leave Our Kids Alone!

Lamentably, the NFL also reflects the covert, and sometimes overt, racism which still pervades our society. In a March 2006 interview with former NFL player Anthony Prior (about Prior’s book, The Slave Side of Sunday) James Harris noted that:

Later in the interview, Prior commented:

Prior’s quote underscores what is perhaps the NFL’s greatest sin. Mirroring the deeply duplicitous Horatio Alger portrayals of upward mobility in the US socioeconomic hierarchy, the NFL, its loyalists, and a multitude of college and high school coaches perpetuate pernicious myths. Myths that motivate our children, particularly those who are Black and impoverished, to pursue pipe dreams, embrace vacuous values, and severely skew their priorities.

Contrary to the fallacious belief that football is a viable route to a free college education, only 20% of college athletes receive full scholarships. At least 55% play with zero financial assistance. A 1996 study determined that a mere 45% of Black college football players attained their degrees.

Another study revealed that 66% of Black teenagers believe that they will become professional athletes. 33% of White teenagers share the same misconception. Regardless of race, the statistical probability of a teen growing up to become an NFL player is infinitesimally small.

Here are some sobering statistics which reveal the virtual impossibility of their dream becoming reality:

The US population is 300 million. In 2000 the US Census indicated there were 10 million males of typical NFL draft age. Each individual’s odds of experiencing life as an NFL player drop precipitously when one considers that there are only 15,000 football players eligible for the draft each spring. Of those fifteen thousand, 160 young men secure NFL roster spots. One hundred sixty out of 10 million become NFL players. It staggers the mind!

While it is understandable that many Black teens, facing significant structural barriers to escaping a life of poverty, aspire to be the next Michael Vick. Harry Edwards, a Black sports sociologist, put their false hopes and vain efforts into perspective:

Infantile Self-Absorption

Imagine what we could accomplish if we focused more of our time, energy, resources, and efforts on attainable goals and socially redeeming activities.

Right here in the United States, over a million people are homeless at any given moment. Tens of millions lack proper nutrition and access to health care. Our infant mortality rate is the highest amongst industrialized nations. Untold numbers caught in Katrina’s Diaspora are still scattered to the four corners of the Earth. One in seven US Americans lives below poverty level.

And if enough of us amongst the poor and working class united, it would be within our collective power to mitigate the suffering of those in need. Yet, we choose to sate ourselves with the man fuel so readily proffered by the NFL. In so doing, we subsidize the very billionaires who plunder our communities’ precious resources and peddle delusions to our children.

Pity so many of us are too busy “living NFL and drinking Diet Pepsi” to notice, let alone care…

Jason Miller is a wage slave of the American Empire who has freed himself intellectually and spiritually. His essays have appeared widely on the Internet, he volunteers at homeless shelters, and he is recovering from his addiction to the NFL. He welcomes constructive correspondence via his blog, Thomas Paine's Corner.

Your comments are always welcome.