(Note: Ezra
Malik Katz was
born sleeping August 39, 2008)
Please
excuse me while I grieve for my boy…
The
other day I was walking through the
maternity ward
At
Pennsylvania Hospital,
And
a nurse asked me if I was an expectant
father.
I
told her no, my baby just died.
Later
that day, a man asked me if I was expecting
a baby,
I
told him no, I just lost my son.
You
haven’t heard his story, because it hasn’t
been told,
And
yet he is unable to tell you, so I will
speak for him.
His
name is Ezra Malik Katz Love,
And
he came to us during this season,
Pregnant
with the promise of hope
And
filled with the possibilities of change,
Ezra
gave us so much joy in such a short time,
But
what do you do, what can you say,
When
you have to give birth to your child
The
day after he died.
Please
excuse me while I mourn my beautiful boy
Ezra…
How
did he get this name?
Ezra
means helper in Hebrew; he was named in
honor of Eugene,
His
mother’s mother’s father.
Malik
means king in Arabic, Melech in the Hebrew,
Named
in honor of Marion, his mother’s mother’s
mother,
But
also named in honor of Malcolm and Martin,
of course.
And
Mahatma and Medgar for that matter.
All
of them left us before their time, before
their work was done.
Ezra
Malik - a beautiful boy, a remarkable boy,
He
borrowed his mommy’s eyes, lips and rosy
cheeks,
And
his daddy’s nose - and the trademark Love
family forehead,
And
he has a full head of black hair.
But
where on Earth did he get those long legs?
Perhaps
it was from some distant ancestor, African
or Jew,
Who
had to cover a lot of ground in a short
time,
Someone
who was heading up some social movement,
Fighting
the powers that be, or running away from
them,
Or
running towards them,
Or
driving out the oppressors from the land,
Or
setting the captives free.
Please
excuse me while I mourn my little man, my
Ezra Malik…
I
saw my boy for only a brief moment,
Held
him in my arms and kissed him on the head,
But
I had many joyous conversations with him
When
his mother was his home,
I
told him about the world and about his
family,
About
his grandparents and his cousins, and his
two cats,
And
he was a good boy, he always listened,
He
responded to his daddy’s words by kicking
his mommy’s belly
…with those long legs of
his.
I
wanted to see him grow up,
But
the Universe had other ideas, other plans
for him,
Perhaps
I’ll never understand,
I’ll
always wonder what could have been, what
would have been,
What
should have been.
So,
please excuse me while I grieve for my son
Ezra…
I
miss him, and I love him very much.
